dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize