I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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