oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
