are you still at the devil's house?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
