these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
