What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
