The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
