i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
