i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
