he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
