Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
