Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
