Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's blow job season.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
