You work out of a Hotel?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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