he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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