Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
