Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
