Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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