can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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