i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
