She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
