North Korea, Best Korea!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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