i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
