plz talk dirty to me
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Text me some of your sweat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
