I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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