Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
