You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
