You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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