how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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