Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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