i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
