I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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