ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
