And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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