In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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