I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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