i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
