is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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