i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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