u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
