i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
