I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He better not be in your backpack
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
