He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
