Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
