I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
