Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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