I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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