I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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