he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
