This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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