Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
