meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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