So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
And then he peed in my hair
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